When a significant love relationship is falling apart or has ended, people often fall apart themselves. People come to my therapy office wanting and needing help with managing, repairing, and nurturing the relationship with the person they love most in the world.
I teach my clients how to learn to listen to their partner’s needs and stop worrying about their own feelings. We need to take off the blinders that stop us from seeing our loved ones needs and yearning. I teach the skills to understand that thinking about the needs of others can be life’s most gratifying experience. The refrain I hear every day is an ongoing attempt by individuals to indict each other. Battles are fought and the illusory concept of winning takes precedence over resolution. Personal accountability, however, is the solution that will end the lose/lose dynamic and create a win for both partners and for the WE, the team.
How do I work with couples to strengthen their Team?
- I help them understand that their goal needs to be greater harmony & cooperation by each of them to prioritize and strengthen the team.
- I ask couples to acknowledge and sometimes write down what they appreciate about their partner.
- I teach them to focus on positives in their partners rather than highlighting negatives.
- I help each member of the couple to stop criticizing the other and instead express what they’d like from their partner.
Overall, I help couples focus on the fact that the only way an argument or conflict can be successfully resolved is when The Team wins and prevails.