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Couples Therapy

Couples Therapy
If you feel your marriage, partnership, relationship with your significant other is falling apart; you may want to consider couples therapy. Relationship problems are so powerfully emotionally charged that they can easily consume an individual day and night. Unresolved conflicts containing an overabundance of pain, rage, fear, uncertainty and shame can, and will, interfere with a person’s ability to function in every other area of their lives. If you and your partner feel consumed by the unhappiness in what was once a joyful and satisfying relationship, you can benefit from couples therapy.

When a significant love relationship is falling apart or has ended, people often fall apart themselves. People come to my therapy office wanting and needing help with managing, repairing, and nurturing the relationship with the person they love most in the world.

I teach my clients how to learn to listen to their partner’s needs and stop worrying about their own feelings. We need to take off the blinders that stop us from seeing our loved ones needs and yearning. I teach the skills to understand that thinking about the needs of others can be life’s most gratifying experience. The refrain I hear every day is an ongoing attempt by individuals to indict each other. Battles are fought and the illusory concept of winning takes precedence over resolution. Personal accountability, however, is the solution that will end the lose/lose dynamic and create a win for both partners and for the WE, the team.

How do I work with couples to strengthen their Team?
  • I help them understand that their goal needs to be greater harmony & cooperation by each of them to prioritize and strengthen the team.
  • I ask couples to acknowledge and sometimes write down what they appreciate about their partner.
  • I teach them to focus on positives in their partners rather than highlighting negatives.
  • I help each member of the couple to stop criticizing the other and instead express what they’d like from their partner.
I work with people on eliminating the words “always & never” from their vocabulary. Two people need to operate in shades of gray for a relationship to work. Don’t tell your partner that he or she never shows you affection. Tell them instead how much you love it when they do show affection and how much you’d like your partner to show more of it.

Overall, I help couples focus on the fact that the only way an argument or conflict can be successfully resolved is when The Team wins and prevails.
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